Skip to content
(202) 628-7700operations@rcrc.org
FacebookTwitter

Press

Donate

Religious Coalition for Reproductive ChoiceReligious Coalition for Reproductive Choice
Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice
Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice
  • Home
  • About
    • Mission Statement
    • History
    • Even Before Roe: RCRC’s Legacy of Bold Clergy Activism
    • Leadership
    • Staff and Consultants
    • Affiliates
    • Founding Members
    • 2017 Annual Report
    • 2017 IRS Form 990
  • Programs
    • Southern Project
    • Theologies Program
    • Compassionate Care
    • Advocacy
  • Issues
    • The Moral Case
    • Reproductive Health
    • Reproductive Rights
    • Reproductive Justice
  • Religious Resources
    • Faith Perspectives
      • Protestant
      • Catholic
      • Unitarian Universalist
      • Jewish
      • Muslim
      • Hindu
      • Buddhist
    • Prayers
      • Introduction
      • A Prayer to Heal A Divided Nation
      • A Prayer for the Journey Toward Reproductive Justice
      • For Women with Problem Pregnancies
      • For Partners
      • For Men
      • For Those Who Choose Adoption
      • For Children in Need
      • For Providers of Women’s Health Care
      • For Women Coerced and Forced Against Their Will
      • For Women Who Are Immigrants and Seek Refuge
      • For Women Who Struggle to Feed and House Their Families
      • For Those Called to Elected Leadership
      • For Those Called to Support Elected Officials
      • A Chaplain’s Prayer
      • A Catholic Priest’s Blessing
      • A Rabbi’s Blessing
      • A Protestant Minister’s Prayer
      • A Unitarian Universalist Minister’s Prayer
      • An Islamic Prayer
      • Prayer from Earth-Centered Spirituality
    • Blog
    • Health Center/Clinic Pamphlets
  • Press Room
  • Contact
  • Donate
 
  • Home
  • About
    • Mission Statement
    • History
    • Even Before Roe: RCRC’s Legacy of Bold Clergy Activism
    • Leadership
    • Staff and Consultants
    • Affiliates
    • Founding Members
    • 2017 Annual Report
    • 2017 IRS Form 990
  • Programs
    • Southern Project
    • Theologies Program
    • Compassionate Care
    • Advocacy
  • Issues
    • The Moral Case
    • Reproductive Health
    • Reproductive Rights
    • Reproductive Justice
  • Religious Resources
    • Faith Perspectives
      • Protestant
      • Catholic
      • Unitarian Universalist
      • Jewish
      • Muslim
      • Hindu
      • Buddhist
    • Prayers
      • Introduction
      • A Prayer to Heal A Divided Nation
      • A Prayer for the Journey Toward Reproductive Justice
      • For Women with Problem Pregnancies
      • For Partners
      • For Men
      • For Those Who Choose Adoption
      • For Children in Need
      • For Providers of Women’s Health Care
      • For Women Coerced and Forced Against Their Will
      • For Women Who Are Immigrants and Seek Refuge
      • For Women Who Struggle to Feed and House Their Families
      • For Those Called to Elected Leadership
      • For Those Called to Support Elected Officials
      • A Chaplain’s Prayer
      • A Catholic Priest’s Blessing
      • A Rabbi’s Blessing
      • A Protestant Minister’s Prayer
      • A Unitarian Universalist Minister’s Prayer
      • An Islamic Prayer
      • Prayer from Earth-Centered Spirituality
    • Blog
    • Health Center/Clinic Pamphlets
  • Press Room
  • Contact
  • Donate

The Universality of Grief

Rev. Aaron Payson, Unitarian Universalist Church of Worcester, Mass.

The Universality of Grief

The way I feel

They say there is a reason,

They say that time will heal,

But neither time nor reason,

Will change the way I feel,

 

No-one knows the heartache,

That lies behind my smile,

No-one knows how many times,

I have broken down and cried,

 

I want to tell you something,

So there won’t be any doubt,

You’re so wonderful to think of,

But so hard to be without.

~Author Unknown

 

As a Sociology Instructor at a local State University, I teach a course on the Sociology of Death and Dying in which students and I explore in depth the definition, course and consequences of grief in many forms.  What I aspire to teach, first and foremost, is that grief is a normal human response to change and loss.  That even those moments when we have made the most important and best choice, can and often are also moments of profound grief.  The most critical essence of grief is the experience of adjusting to the transformation of our life circumstances, when we confront a change in the vision of who we are or are becoming. Grief results because of a change in our relationship to something or someone else, whether that change be the death of a loved one, the ending of a marriage or the decision to marry, the decision to parent or not, the experience of unemployment or of taking a new job, a move to a different location, a lost item or opportunity, the experience of aging, a serious illness, or the awakening to self that comes with the decision to choose a life direction or gender identity. These are all moments that can and often do involve aspects of grieving.  As such, these are moments and processes that often involve a range of emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual responses.

 

The paradox for me is that we are almost universally bidden to accept the reality of grief in moments of sudden loss and often in those moments when the loss follows a courageous decision. The sudden and unexpected death of a loved one and the choice to allow death to occur by removing life-sustaining treatment both are occasions that often evoke deep grief. Whether changing jobs, moving to a new home, starting school, getting married, or deciding to end a relationship prompt grieving. Why is it that in most of these moments we are able to comprehend the presence and experience of loss even as we honor future opportunities, and often not, when the issue involves the decision to terminate a pregnancy? Do we really believe that women are not capable of making such major decisions of life and death on their own? Do we believe a false narrative that if a woman decides to terminate a pregnancy she gives up on the right to grieve?

Among the lessons we must continue to learn and embody is that we all have the capacity to deny the reality of pain, fear and grief of others, especially when we are motivated by righteous indignation, validation of the heroic, or moral vindication. We must not let our righteousness blind us or deafen us to the pain and grieving of others. As one spiritual master taught, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Sacred Crossroads brings religious voices on social justice to the public square with weekly blog posts on Mondays and a related live webinar on Wednesdays, pre-registration required.

Related posts
A Constitutional — Not Religious — Test for Federal Judges
February 1, 2019
Recapturing Religious Freedom
January 16, 2019
Progressive Faith Values Drive Betty Boyd’s Politics
October 31, 2018
An Office-Holder’s View: Voting is a Lasting Political Action
October 15, 2018
Stand Up, Speak Out, Vote Bold
September 25, 2018
#BelieveWomen
September 23, 2018
Leave Comment

Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

clear formSubmit

Recent Posts
  • A Constitutional — Not Religious — Test for Federal Judges
  • How Interfaith Values Support New York’s Reproductive Health Act

    RCRC leader Rev. Dr. Cari Jackson explains the interfaith, pro-choice values embodied in New York’s updated abortion law.
  • Millions of Women Already Live in a Post-Roe America: A Journey Through the Anti-Abortion South

    Oklahoma RCRC is part of this story using individual women’s experiences to show the barriers to accessing abortion in Oklahoma, Arkansas and Mississippi.
  • New Court Rulings Keep the Birth Control Mandate in Place

    News analysis including RCRC comments on the distorted view of religious freedom shown by the Trump administration regarding reproductive issues.
  • RCRC Statement on Outcomes of Religious Freedom Cases Challenging ACA
Archives
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • March 2018
  • January 2018
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • December 2015
Categories
  • Blog Entries
  • News Coverage
  • Press Releases
  • RCRC Vote
Recent Blog Posts
  • A Constitutional — Not Religious — Test for Federal Judges
    February 1, 2019
  • Recapturing Religious Freedom
    January 16, 2019
  • Progressive Faith Values Drive Betty Boyd’s Politics
    October 31, 2018
Contact Us
1413 K Street NW 14th Floor Washington, DC 20005

(202) 628-7700
operations@rcrc.org

Find us on:

FacebookTwitterYouTube
RCRC Tweets
  • Thank you, Rabbi Sasso. People of many faiths agree with you. https://t.co/FZihUWECxYyesterday
  • Read the letter 120 organizations, including ours, sent to @SecAzar against exempting US-funded foster care & adopt… https://t.co/6ZqtJI2aPzyesterday
  • Trump & anti-#abortion politicians have attacked abortion coverage 3 times in the past weeks. Fight back!#CoverMyAbortion #BeBoldEndHydeyesterday
Subscribe to Our Newsletter
* indicates required
Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice
Copyright 2017 Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice. All rights reserved.
  • Press Room
  • Contact
  • Donate
Our Services